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a dream is a wish your heart makes.

So L.B.J., my third year movie has wrapped and i'm home for a day or two to get it all back together before i start editing for 2 months. i got my dailies when i get back to school. i can't wait to see them! i can't believe we're halfway through winter term. this year is flying by, which is a good and a bad thing. i think we're all to the point where we're ready to graduate.

so after a slight disappointment, I GOT AN INTERVIEW WITH DISNEY! i was told that i would never get an interview with them, and apparently i'm the first person from my school to get an interview. the recruiter is a goddess and has been so helpful through the process thus far. she told me that the job i was interviewing for is in the character voice department. they are hiring one student to archive all the disney voices from 1995-present, and also help with recording of the voices for T.V. & features that are going on and for the theme parks......did i mention that i'm pretty sure that's my DREAM JOB. everything has been so perfect so far, come on disney, you've never failed me before, so don't fail me now! i'll be keeping this updated as i go through the interview process and potentially, if i'm accepted throughout the internship.

happy 2009

it's FINALLY the new year. 2009 was welcomed with open arms. 2008 coming to an end was a long waited comfort. it put a close to one of the most stressful and unhappy years of my life. not to say there wasn't good things that happened, but i dealt with things this year that i know everyone must at some point, but it wasn't easy.

last year i rang in the new year with my best friends. we had a good night that ended roughly late the next morning. like we all said, "what a way to start off the new year." i was in a bad place, everyone knew but i was doing my best to hide it. my grandmother had been in the hospital since before thanksgiving and i spent my entire winter break sitting in a hospital waiting room. i left school as quickly as i could after my exams, taking them all early or promising to make them up later. i had been on an emotional rollercoaster since before thanksgiving and little did i know the last time i would actually get to hold a conversation with my grandma was that thanksgiving. so i sat with my mom in a waiting room for three weeks. christmas passed us by. my parents tried to make the most of it, but i didn't want anything to do with it. my mom was basically living in georgia. i talked to her everyday once i got back to school. superbowl sunday i felt myself starting to get sick. i ended up with a nasty case of the flu. i couldn't walk more than 5 feet without almost passing out. the school made my parents come get me. my dad's mother kept me while my parents dealt with the hospital. all i could do was sleep. a medicated sleep, which lead to a relapse to the horrible night terrors that i had when i was little. not only 4 days after i arrived in georgia did my grandmother pass. my world was turned completely upside down. i had never seen my other grandma cry, and i knew as soon as she walked in the room. she came in my room and sat down on the bed where i was laying and just sobbed. it killed me that i couldn't be with my parents when it happened, and i was still so sick that i really couldn't move around, plus they wouldn't allow me in her hospital room to see her because of being ill. my other grandma got me to my parents as quickly as she could. the funeral was the hardest thing i've ever had to go through. i did have a nice surprise when a lot of our really close friends from home showed up. i had no idea that they were coming. nothing was more comforting than having the Boulwares, Tina & Chas, and my dance teachers show. now its been almost a year since she died, and i've learned more about myself through that suffering than ever. i had to grow up. i knew that, and i thought i already had, but i had no idea. i think my mind reached full maturity that february. i realized i had two younger siblings that will never have my grandma as long as i did. i thought of it from their perspective. i couldn't imagine being 11 and losing her. me and my sisters all dealt with it differently. i was the most emotive, there wasn't a moment during the wake or funeral that the tears weren't rolling. after that i couldn't sleep for weeks without my night terrors haunting me. i was on edge and anxious. i had to go back to school the day after the funeral, so i didn't have much time to get over it. i was having a hard time talking to my friends about it. i couldn't speak to them without completely losing it. if you ever thought i was ignoring you, i'm sorry. the first of my friends that i finally spoke to was mark. he had no idea what was going on, i tried explaining it and keeping my composure. after i was back at school, i went home for at least 3 weekends straight. i was still waking up screaming or crying and dreaded going to sleep every night. it went on like this until she came to me in a dream one night and told me that she was happy and that she had a surprise for me that would make me happy again. and sure enough, later that day my mom called me to tell me that she was planning a week long trip to walt disney world in september.

the rest of my year was a blur. i remember getting my discipline of choice. and then getting out of school as quickly as i could after my exams. i spent the summer working at home. as you can tell i only recall the worst and best part about my year.

my family's trip to disney was cleansing. and this most recent trip having a big impact on me. and getting to share it with two of our best friends made it even more special. it reassured me that i was doing what i really wanted to do and only pushed me in pursuing my dream. my mom and my grandmother were like Walt Disney's little minions, molding me into a big disney fan with dreams of the film business. and i have them to thank for it. Walt is the reason i'm doing what i'm doing. so is my mother and grandmother. some of you may find it dumb. many people ask what movie made you want to make movies. people give the obvious answers the godfather, apocalypse now, pulp fiction. i say the lion king, sleeping beauty, alice in wonderland, and toy story. so thanks mom and lordy lore for giving me that inspiration.

to all my friends - thank you. thank you so much for being there. thank you for everything. i love you more than anything. and i mean that. my ladies, my boo crew, thank you for putting up with my crazy self. i wouldn't trade any of you for the world. i couldn't ask for a better group of friends and i can't wait to make the first boo crew production a reality. cranny, you have to live with me, and i'm sorry. ha. but i couldn't ask for a better roommate. i have the most fun living with you and doing our nerdy things we do. i love you. cosmo, you too. my friends at home, thanks for still being there and dealing with our long distance relationship. i appreciate it. love you. my friend overseas, you scare my shitless, but i am still so proud of you. i miss you everyday and i can't wait to see you in march.

i have many resolutions, and one of those is to keep those many resolutions. but i will keep them to myself. i hope everyone had a happy new year. 2009 is gonna be good. i can feel it. thank god for that.
i almost forgot about this thing.

a complete random side note. i LOVE this album art by none other than the jobros:

well. school is moving right along smoothly. i'm settled into all my class and am as happy as a pig in mud. i'm loving my 2 sound classes and learning to love my AVID class. (not the learning disability program at my local high school, the industry standard editing software). i'm also pretty happy in my academics. i'm really glad to be back with all my friends. It's strange though to be here and not be rushing around like usual. i finally get some well deserved downtime after busting my tail and getting my discipline, but i'm not really sure what to do with myself. so when i'm not in my editing labs or studying for academics, i'm usually playing kingdom hearts or world of warcraft. i've also been writing a little bit.

so i missed my first motion city soundtrack show in 4 years last week. it was a pretty big deal. it really threw me off. especially since justin pierre had the charles manson/jesus look going on:

does my being naked bother you?

4 more days of work. thank GOD.
10 more days till DISNEY!
17 more days till NCSA!

whee! i'm so excited.

so summer has been rather uneventful other than what i've posted previously. i friggen love Twilight. I read the entire series in like 2 weeks & thought it was stupid till i quit lying to myself. (totally team jacob if anyone cares.) i can't wait till the movie comes out in november. i've been picture lurking for set pictures as usual. think its casted pretty well. Taylor Lautner has made the pedophilia list along with chris brown, who has recently graduated to legal. haha. i'm telling its the jacob thing & the werewolf thing.
So, I enter this contest for Warped Tour to be a Production Assistant on a mini-documentary they make on different bands on the tour. Needless to say I was super pumped and even more pumped when I found out that I was going to be filming Cobra Starship, one of the headlining bands and one of the fastest growing bands in popularity right now. I am fan, but I didn't have time to get really into them before hand. So we all get to the venue on time only for me to call the guy and him be like "Oh, what?, oh yea the band canceled sorry."

..... wtf.

I came dressed professionally and prepared to do this job. There was no warning, no precautionary "there may be a chance the band backs out" thing, nothing. How can you run a legit contest if the bands always back out? So needless to say that these people were ridiculously unorganized and it put a damper on my first cobra starship show. I did all this work to enter this contest and no one associated really gave a damn about it. It's bullshit. So the head of the John Lennon Tour Bus got a informative email from me.


my eye is killing me! i don't know whats wrong with it! its not pink eye. and i've decided its not allergies. i think i scratched my cornea.

this band blows.

everyone in my apartment got their first choice! so that makes marcie the director, lauren the screenwriter, katie the producer, and olivia the editor. which pretty much makes up the key crew for marcie's movie LBJ next year!

also, beaux arts was awesome.

Team Sexy!

1D ladies and 1A gentlemen.


till tonight do us part..

its that time................

portfolio reviews are over with and we get our letters on friday. i can say that i'm not to nervous. if editing doesn't want me, the producing faculty was begging me to change my choices. now its just a matter of sit and wait. it'll be super interesting to see how it works itself out. it's gonna be really sad too though. some people might leave that i don't want to leave.

beaux arts this weekend!!!

then tuesday....i'll be back in columbia

coconut juice.

ok for real.

check out tyga. he's travis' from gym class heroes cousin. i've been playing his tracks over and over for the past 2 weeks.

this just posted on Pete Wentz's Friends or Enemies blog:

"in weird ways i am so different- not in any that can be told from a wrinkle or smile line. a little worse for wear. but you have made me a better person and given me the adventure of my life. thank you patrick joe andy - every single fan from hey chris to our newest one.

there is something very insane being cooked up this summer cant speak on it yet. but keep your eyes out."

this makes me soo much happier about my life.